Your ship isn’t going to come in. The life you want won’t be handed to you like a gift. The gift has already been given. It is the brief candle flame in the dark that is our life. Our wax may last a hundred years but a wind could come at any moment and blow us out. Don’t waste it.
No, the life you want won’t find you. You have to build it, brick by brick. Make sure your foundations are good because if you don’t, the house will collapse and you’ll have to start over again. But don’t cry if it does. Every time you start again you can make it better. You get better at building, your plans get clearer, you learn to select better materials.
The foundations are your habits. Habits of action and habits of thought. Those little barely noticed things you do every day, those are what the rest of the life you build rests on. Measure those little thoughts and actions against your building plan, your vision of the life you want. Do the things you think and do every day move you towards or away from those goals?
If they move you towards them, then enshrine that. Build around it. Make it habit. Make it ritual.
If they move you away, discard it. Pull it out like you would a weed from your garden. You will need to be severe. It doesn’t matter if it is a belief handed down to you over the generations. It doesn’t matter if the habit has given you great comfort. If it moves you away from your best self and life, pull it up by the roots.
You can mourn its passing. Have a little memorial for the you, you used to be. Then move on and put a better stone in its place. Build the life you want, brick by brick, stone by stone. Stop waiting. Start now.