Edward E. Wilson

Your power is on the other side of your pain. It’s natural to want to run away from pain but in this life, pain is unavoidable. To pretend otherwise is just to make ourselves brittle to it. Instead do the opposite, look the pain in your life right in the face.

Admit to yourself that it is there, see how it affects you, map out the situations that bring it to you, and pay attention to the stories you tell yourself about those situations. Even just this will make your pain a little more manageable, but you can go beyond this.

Some of those situations can and should be ended. Some can’t or shouldn’t. Examine the stories you are telling yourself. Are they true or are they just one way of looking at things? If there is a better way of thinking about your situation or your pain, try telling yourself that version of the story and see what changes for you.

Often in life we face choices with pain down both forks of the road. Fear and the real possibility of failure on one side, and the slow grind of regret and stagnation on the other. Choose the pain that will make you better. There is no growth without pain but not growing brings it’s own pain. You might as well choose the suffering that makes you stronger. There’s nobility in it.

Be the person who looks their pain in the face, that knows it as an old frenemy or a hard teacher. Be the person who chooses the pain of growth. You’ll find power there.